Read, learn and enjoy!!!1. Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal.
Over the years, I've seen a pet on a passenger's lap, a pet tucked into a seat back pocket, (yes there are rules regarding putting anything in the seat back pocket in front of you) and a pet loose in the aisle (I nearly hit one with my beverage cart). All of this is against federal regulations. People tell me how well-behaved their pet is, but they can't follow the rules themselves! Your pet must stay in its carrier while you're on the plane. Yes, even if you've paid a "pet-in-cabin" fee.
Although many people love animals they are not children...whether you have kids or not and they don't get the same privileges as people traveling with children. Your dog is just that, “a dog” and in an airplane cabin your pet although may be cute it should stay in it's kennel and feeding it food from the in-flight meal is not cute or tolerated. Please have some kind of home training and remember not everyone in an aircraft’s cabin is like minded when it comes to our furry friends!
Remember too that if you feel the need to act stupid on an airplane or give a crew member a hard time, that's the fastest wat to get complimentry accomodations at the nearst city government hotel! (Jail) Interfering with a flight attendants duties or hindering them from keeping other passengers safe and free from injury is an easy way to get fined and or put in jail and the airline will not care if you don't fly them ever again because they don't want you on their airplane anyway! Be cool, control your alcohol intake and know when to say when and enjoy yourself not annoy others with loud comments of happiness or displeasure because it just creates more tension in a really confined area!
2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.
You think you're clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you're selfishly inconveniencing others. I can't lie and say we flight attendants don't take some small satisfaction when we tell you, "We couldn't identify the bag's owner, so we sent it to cargo." It's a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don't look so shocked when we say, "The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there."
Don't get shocked if when you exit the airplane after landing that your bag is not there. If we cannot identify a bag before departure then it will get put off and at the very least put in the baggage compartment. It may not seem like much to you but security is very serious and crew members don't care how you feel when it comes to safety and security in today's flying world! We don't do it to piss you off and we don't get up in the morning trying to figure out who we are going to inconvenience that day. The airplane is not your private jet so remember you will have to share the space and your bags belong in overhead bins closer to you for safety and extreme circumstances!3. Think that because you're on an airplane you're off-duty as a parent.
Stop expecting us to have spare diapers, formula, medicine, toys, playing cards, or batteries for DVD players or Game Boys. It's an airplane, not a 7-11. Take your kid to the restroom before you board. Leave the dry cereal and Lego's at home and bring snacks and toys for your kids that won't make a horrible mess.
4. Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy for you to lift by yourself.
I won't be compensated for any injuries I might sustain if I heft your bag into the overhead compartment for you. (And other passengers shouldn't have to step up and take the risk either.) The guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. Try this at home as a test (and this is to you ladies, especially): After you've packed your bag, put on the shoes you plan to wear on the plane and see if you can lift your bag and place it on top of your refrigerator. You can't? Pay the fee and check the bag.
5. Gripe that you haven't been seated in a roomy exit-row seat.
The exit rows weren't created as a reward for people who are tall, overweight, or just plain nice. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. The people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, open the emergency door, and help others. I prefer to see uniformed military, firefighters, law-enforcement officers, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final determination about who gets to sit in them. And the quality of our choices is one of the frequent concerns of Federal Aviation Administration officials when they audit airlines for safety practices. So please don't complain. I'm just doing my job.
6. Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you."
Someday I will be muttering "under the seat in front of you" in the old-age home for flight attendants. What is it that you don't understand? To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool, in the open seat next to you, or in your lap. It's under the seat in front of you. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And while I'm on the topic: Please don't wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there's no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?
7. Whine about the high price of flying.
When I hear people complain about coach airfares, I know they're not keeping up with the news. Fares have rarely been cheaper. In recent years, it's not uncommon for you to be able to cross the continent for under $130 each way, with a maximum of one layover. It's a bargain! At that price, you're barely paying for the fuel to get your body there—never mind the cost of shipping your 50 pounds of gear. You're already on the gravy plane. People point to first class ticket holders and want to know why they don't get the same treatment. Wake up folks: You're getting a great deal. If you want even more, pay more!
The smartest and best fliers are the ones who know how to schedule their flights around weather for the type of year, city of departure and arrival, packing skills, plans for arriving in an unplanned city with limited or no access to food and lodging and of course aircraft type which always can make a difference in how comfortable your travel experience will be.
Good luck and remember to “Be Proactive and Not Reactive” and you will be able to enjoy whatever your flying adventure may be!!!